I have a pretty sweet deal with my current rent. For a flat rate of $500 a month I get my own room, half my own restroom, access to kitchen, laundry and cable, and the company of two very loving roommates.
Scarlett is about four years old and is a lab/pitbull mix. She’s the best and farts mean farts. One time she let out a huge rip and was so embarrassed when I tried febreezing the shit out of my room that she ran into the hallway and stayed there the entire night. She also understands human talk. If you get the chance to meet her, you’ll know what I mean. I can talk to her for hours and am confident she understands every single word.
About 4 months ago my landlord brought home another puppy, Sadie, to keep Scarlett company. I’m not sure what she is but she looks like a retriever mix. Sadie is cray cray. The most energetic pup I’ve ever met; her tail wiggles her entire body and she’s just this wiggly worm of an animal. Sadie puts her enthusiasm to good use during the day by ripping apart the fake lawn, tee-peeing the house with toilet paper and digging holes to the neighbor’s yard to enlist the help of Clinton, the other cray cray pup next door, for even more ruckus and mayhem.
Sadie just came back from a 10-day doggie boarding school to learn how to become a respectable young lady. I never heard of such an obedience school but I guess my landlord was fed up with the mud-smeared walls and dirt tracks all over the house. I feared she would come back a changed pup — all snooty with her nose in the air, thinking she’s too good for us now that she’s part of the learned folk. Excuse me lowly peasants, but I prefer to go by Sa-dae now.
Nope, no worries there. Boarding school did not crack this pup. She’s just as jumpy and hyper as before, clawing at clothes and hanging onto my hips as though they’re training wheels for the day she finally becomes human and can walk on two feet. But it’s really good to have her back. Scarlett pretends to be annoyed with Sadie’s antics but secretly, I know she’s happy they’re reunited again.
Whether they’re messing up the house, shitting all over the fake lawn or humping each other even though they’re lady dogs, Scarlett and Sadie are awesome. They give me endless kisses and leave me saliva-covered presents outside my door while I’m at work. Plus, they’re not technically mine so I can just play with them without having to clean up their mess. I’m really lucky to have them around. They make my living situation even sweeter.